I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Randomize
