Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
