Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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