Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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