DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
