That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
