the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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