So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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