We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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