He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
