Welp...herpes.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i've created a new STD.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
