her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
