I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
