that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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