the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
