I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
