i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
