Is it normal to miss your booty call?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
