Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
