Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
operation have a gay friend backfired
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
