office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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