Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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