So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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