Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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