the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize