you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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