I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize