cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
