I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize