So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
