I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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