You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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