Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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