I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
