Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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