Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
They have beer where we have blood.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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