i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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