I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
