What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
