My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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