They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize