I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You smell like stripper and shame
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do Iβm not made of stone
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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