college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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