these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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