he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
