First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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