he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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