This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
