It's like God shit irony all over that family
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
