It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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