whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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