we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
