Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
