I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize