is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
