Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
