There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
