And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
why is half of my head shaved?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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