Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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