have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
