Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
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Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
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"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize