I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
