It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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