perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
