areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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